02.11.09
Posted in Health Update at 11:14 pm by Beth
This week has been unusual. I know what most of you are thinking, “Beth, YOU are unusual!” but this week sets itself apart from every other one I have had in the last few months. I was not sure until today, that one person could be thrilled, exhausted, relieved, frustrated, annoyed and entertained all at once, but as it turns out, I was wrong.
I had lived under the delusion that “when I graduate from college I will have no stress” What was I thinking? Everyone forgot to inform me that this was a fib and that I would have stress, it would just not be in the form of books to be read and papers to be written. Being a full-fledged adult is HARD WORK!! Figuring a budget, paying taxes, learning to cook, taking care of your home, making sure everything at work gets taken care of before you leave the office at the end of the day! Wow! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE NOT BEING IN SCHOOL ANYMORE!!! 
It’s a different kind of stress than academic stress, definitely much more manageable!!
I had begun my week with the intention of being super organized and “put together” HA! Only to discover that as the week unfolded, true to my character, I was anything other than organized. I am always amazed at how quickly a day goes by. By the time I get up in the morning, work a full day, squeeze in PT and maybe one other meeting, meal out with friends, etc. the day is gone!
I had been aprehensive about all the commitments I had made this week. Wondering if I was going to be able to accomplish everything without completely wearing myself out. This week has been a good week in that each time I put forth the effort, I was blessed by the outcome. Spending time with highschoolers really is a refreshing experience, the woman in my Wednesday bible study encourage my spirit and challenge me to think and grow and love always, no exceptions. I love nothing more than a meal shared with a friend. And while all these things take up my time, I can’t imagine spending it any other way. I truely believe that it is because of all the things I am involved in and all the support I continue to receive that I am doing as well as I am.
On that note, as of my Physical Therapy appointment today I am thrilled to report that my sitting balance and the muscle control in my trunk have improved GREATLY in the last week. It won’t be too much longer (a couple of weeks or so) and I should be able to drive independently again. I am currently working on trying to stand. The longest I have been able to stand is about 3 minutes while holding myself help using my arms for about 90% of my support. I was able to shuffle my feet the equivilent of about 8 steps, though my feet never left the floor.
I am exhausted as I write this but it is the most wonderful kind of tired imaginable! Just the knowledge that something somewhere in my body is trying to make a comeback is a great encouragement. I will be leaving Sunday for Missoula-just a quick overnight trip as I have a Dr. appt. for a 2nd opinion. Hopefully this will lead to more answers…and even better yet a more concrete diganosis!
Much to be grateful for and much work still ahead!!
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02.10.09
Posted in Health Update at 9:17 pm by Beth
This struck me as interesting. It means something to me, the concept that doctors, medicine and diagnosis only go so far, ultimately the outcome is up to God. He is ALWAYS faithful, even when we aren’t.
A professor begins
his school year with a lecture to the students, ‘Let me explain
the problem science has with religion.’ The atheist professor of
philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new
students to stand.
‘You’re a Christian, aren’t you, son?
‘Yes sir,’ the student says.
‘So you believe in God?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Is God good?’
‘Sure! God’s good.’
‘Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you good or evil?’
‘The Bible says I’m evil.’
The
professor grins knowingly.
‘Aha! The Bible!’ He considers for a moment. ‘Here’s
one for you. Let’s say there’s a sick person over here and you
can cure
him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?’
‘Yes sir, I would.’
‘So you’re good.’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’
‘But why not say that? You’d help a sick and
maimed person if you could. Most of us
would if we could. But God doesn’t.’
The student
does not answer, so the professor continues .
‘He doesn’t, does He? My
brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he
prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can
you answer that one?’
The student remains silent.
‘No, you can’t, can you?’ the professor says.
He takes a
sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time
to relax.
‘Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?’
‘Errr yes,’ the student says.
‘Is Satan good?’
The student doesn’t hesitate on this one. ‘No.’
‘Then where does Satan come from?’
The student falters. ‘From God’
‘That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t he? Tell me,
son. Is there evil in this world?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make
everything, correct?’
‘Yes.’
‘So who created evil?’
The professor continued,
‘If God created everything, then God created evil,
since evil
exists, and according to the
principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.’
Again, the student has no answer.
‘Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All
these terrible things, do they exist in this world?’
The student
squirms on his feet.
‘Yes.’
‘So who created them?’
The student
does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question.
‘Who created them?’
There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer
breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is
mesmerized.
‘Tell me,’
he continues onto another student.
‘Do you believe in Jesus
Christ, son?’
The student’s voice betrays him and cracks.
‘Yes, professor, I do.’
The old man
stops pacing.
‘Science says you have five senses you use to identify
and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?’
‘No sir. I’ve never seen Him.’
‘Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus?’
‘No, sir, I have not.’
‘Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or
smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of
Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?’
‘No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.’
‘Yet you still believe in him?’
‘Yes.’
‘According to the rules of empirical, testable,
demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist. What
do you say to that, son?’
‘Nothing,’
the student replies.
‘I only have my faith. ‘
‘Yes, faith,’ the professor repeats. ‘And that is the
problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.’
The student stands quietly for a moment, before
asking a question of his own.
‘Professor, is there such thing as heat?’
‘Yes,’ the professor replies. ‘There’s heat.’
‘And is there such a thing as cold?’
‘Yes, son, there’s cold too.’
‘No sir, there isn’t.’
The
professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room
suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.
‘You can have lots of heat, even more heat,
super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white
heat , a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything
called ‘cold’. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is
no heat, but we can’t go any further after that.. There is no
such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than
the lowest
-458 degrees.’ ‘Every body or object is susceptible
to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes
a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F)
is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word
we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.
Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.
Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.’
Silence
across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom,
sounding like a hammer.
‘What about darkness, professor. Is there such a
thing as darkness?’
‘Yes,’ the professor replies without hesitation. ‘What
is night if it isn’t darkness?’
‘You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is not
something; it is the absence of something. You can have low
light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you
have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called
darkness, isn’t it?
That’s the meaning we use to define the word.’
‘In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would
be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?’
The professor begins to smile at the student in
front of him. This will be a good semester.
‘So what point are you making, young man?’
‘Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical
premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must
also be flawed.’
The professor’s face cannot hide his surprise this
time.
‘Flawed? Can you explain how?’
‘You are working on the premise of duality,’ the
student explains. ‘You argue that there is life and then there’s
death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of
God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science
can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism
, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To
view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the
opposite of life, just the absence of it.’ ‘Now tell me,
professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from
a monkey?’
‘If you are referring to the natural evolutionary
process, young man, yes, of course I do.’
‘Have you ever observed evolution with your own
eyes, sir?’
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as
he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester,
indeed.
‘Since no one has ever observed the process of
evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an
on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are
you now not a scientist, but a preacher?’
The class is
in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has
subsided.
‘To continue the point you were making earlier to
the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.’
The student
looks around the room.
‘Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the
professor’s brain?’
The class breaks out into laughter.
‘Is there anyone here who has ever heard the
professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt
the professor’s brain? No one appears to have done so. So,
according to the established rules of empirical, stable,
demonstrable protocol, science says that you have
no brain, with all due respect, sir.’ ‘So if science says you
have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?’
Now the room
is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face
unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man
answers.
‘I guess you’ll have to take them on faith.’
‘Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact,
faith exists with life,’
the student continues.
‘Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?’
Now uncertain, the professor responds,
‘Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in
the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the
multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These
manifestations are nothing else but evil.’
To this the
student replied,
‘Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist
unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like
darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the
absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of
what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his
heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or
the darkness that comes when there is no light.’
The professor sat
down.
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12.08.08
Posted in Health Update at 6:01 pm by Beth
Ahh, I am completely relaxed! As I write this post I am sitting in my super-comfy recliner and watching It’s A Wonderful Life. What more could I ask for??
So far, the last few days have been busy but much fun! I came home on Wednesday and went straight to the hospital to visit my new godson Jason Joshua Dikes II. He is truely a miracle and I love him with all my heart! He is an answer to MANY MANY prayers and I cannot think of a more wonderful Christmas gift than that sweet new life
I spent yesterday morning at church. It was so nice to be back after being gone so many Sundays. Mom and I went Christmas shopping yesterday afternoon and decorated their house for Christmas. The icing on the cake of a wonderful day was going to the Symphony last night with my dad to hear Handel’s Messiah. I am pooped today, but it was so worth it to be able to experience so much yesterday.
Today, I went to visit my regular MD, and she gave me a positive report. Seems like I am doing everything I should to take care of myself. I still don’t have any feeling below the waist, but in the meantime, everything seems to be going as it should. I am disovering that life with the wheelchair is working out nicely, I just have to give myself plenty of time to get from one spot to another. Most places I need to go are relatively handicap accessible, and if not, people are more than willing to help me get around.
My doctor posed an interesting question to me today: “What will you do if nothing changes?” All my doctors and specialists have given me every reason to hope that feeling and function will eventually return over time, there is no way to estimate when or how that will happen. All that being said though, I found myself responding “I will make this work. If nothing changes, I will be okay.”
I have been thinking about this converstation all afternoon and am realizing that life right now is changed, but even in the midst of the change, life is still going on. Christmas is coming, school will finish soon and life will continue no matter what. I am okay with it, no matter what the next few weeks or months will bring, it is an incredible relief to know that I will be successful either way. No matter what, we can take great comfort in one thing, God is good. Our circumstances might not be ideal, but God is ALWAYS good!
Something tells me this is going to be the best Christmas yet!! Gotta run…think I found another bargain online!
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